How much longer will I spend
dreaming of sanity
and dancing with my demons?
Slowly fading away into nothingness until there’s nothing left
but an empty shell;
a chassis with nothing to live for.
Phony smiles and obligatory laughter.
Life has become tiresome.
It’s time to retreat into myself
and become what I’ve always been doomed to be.
faint lines scattered across the sidewalk
signs of better yesterdays
chalk washed away by present realities
the unassuming rain that falls around us every day
ridding the world of everything said and done
the storm crashes around us
decimating everything good that used to be
what is going to happen now?
the only thing to do is flee
from the pain of today and tomorrow
or to pick up and try again
to make the world a better place
this craving for flesh consumes me. overtaking each and every cell in my body.
what do I do what do I do?
this nightmare will never end.
or will it?
put me out of my misery. take a shotgun and blow my brains out. or use an ax, I don’t care. I just want this to be over.
I know I haven’t posted here in forever, but I’m working on that. In other news, I now have a Patreon for my other writing that isn’t blogging. My novels and poetry and all that. I would love it if you checked it out and supported me! It would mean a lot!
This nightmare never ends. I’ve been running so long I no longer see the light. Hell creeps upon me like a black cloud in an already void room. Suffocating. I am suffocating from the sudden lack of air. Gasping struggling hanging on by a thread. Why didn’t I relish my life when I was in control? Nothing has any meaning anymore. Nothing. What is nothing? I don’t know anything anymore. Everything has turned into nothing. I am nothing.
What is a dream if not a delusion of finer things? When it comes into reality is it no longer a dream? Why do we bother wasting time on uncertainty? Human nature is a funny thing. Always wanting something bigger, something better. What use does that even have in the end? It only causes disappointment and strife.
Life is what you make it, not what you want it to be. Yesterday is dead and the future doesn’t exist. Only the present can be swayed. There is no purpose to living in the past or future, only suffering. What could have been or what could be; the thoughts will drive one mad.
With the end of existence comes regret. Wistful memories and painful ones. If only it hadn’t mattered. The soul would be free.
the saga of my broken heart beats no longer. amidst the hazy daze I wander to the end of my days. life is such a maze of useless moments that mean nothing in the end. not living for yourself is a waste and you have to know yourself to live. to be mindful is to know yourself. only with this can you cure your selfishness.